The question is have we been too rough on Hannibal?

Maybe.  Behold the Hollyside of the family, Saadi.

I know it's cheap, but he's pretty dirty huh.

Ah, and the inexhaustible comic material continues to flow in...

Antique rifle found after police raid Charlie Sheen's home

http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2011/mar/11/antique-rifle-police-charlie-sheen

or....

Charlie Sheen Reacts to Police Raid: “It Wasn’t Even My Machete”

http://www.okmagazine.com/2011/03/charlie-sheen-reacts-to-police-raid-it-wasnt-even-my-machete/

Get on board people:

50 Cent to donate Gaddafi money to UNICEF

http://www.digitalspy.com/music/news/a308457/50-cent-to-donate-gaddafi-money-to-unicef.html

Go to http://www.gaddafichivalry.com.

UPDATE1-S.Africa orders freeze on Gaddafi's assets

http://af.reuters.com/article/southAfricaNews/idAFLDE72A0TI20110311

Well, that only took like, what, six weeks?  Do you suppose they did a "last call"?  Gaddafi was like, "Okay, I'll take 2 billion in diamonds, 1 billion in AK-47's and French land mines, and a dozen tulips... and then just close me out, last name is Gaddafi, with a Q or a G or something.  You know what, it may be under Hannibal Knowles, check that."

Ah, South Africa, Libya, International Women's Day, and Apartheid Week: how I could tie together a biting narrative of hypocrisy, the hijacking of the term liberal, and false syllogisms feeding pseudo-intellectual opinions chalked with more logical ellipses than a Klein bottle.  But then that would just be me making fun of my friends (oh and anyone from Europe), and that's hardly the point here.

Touche Funny or Die.

Blossom

Gaddafi Jackson Connection

This just in:

Fail Gaddafi.  MJ's got a baby tiger.  Are you worthy of the tiger blood?

... which of course in German means: A Whale's Vagina

In addition to how he's going to explain this one to his children from what will no doubt be a videotaped last will and testament, the collective unconscious also wonders who will be the talented Internet superstar that remixes "I'm On A Boat" into "I'm In A Tent".

Beyonce vs Bree. I just don't know.

"I chipped one of my warlock fangs on a great white shark I had to murder. Pissed me off and like an ass I took it out on her."

"A drunken Gaddafi was spotted leering at Jay-Z's wife all night, as she pranced around half naked in a revealing leotard and stiletto heels."

This is clearly a Gaddafi-Sheen cock-off.

America, you decide:

Yup, I guess this one wins so far.

This Charlie one definitely wins so far.


http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/13191495

However, this was pretty good too, if you don't remember.

Sunglass Museum

Muammar's Greatest Fashion Moments (like you haven't already seen this one):


http://gawker.com/#!5768216/muammar-gaddafis-most-memorable-fashion-moments

Finally!  This is what I've been looking for!


Oh man!  I have these:

http://www.celebrity-sunglasses-finder.com/Charlie-Sheen-Sunglasses.html

Seriously, this isn't a joke.  I have those sunglasses.  Fuck.

Where's Mel when you need him?

So, I guess the internet has no pictures whatsoever of Mel Gibson in crazy sunglasses.  Is that possible.  This is the best we can do, on the Kentucky Colonel theme:

It's pretty weak though.  He looks more like the bad guy from the Wild Wild West remake with Will Smith.  This is really the only one you can do:

And Saddam does look vaguely like Muammar, so transitively...

Do we dare take on... Nightrider?  KIIIITTTTT!!!!

Wait, with all the makeup, could Gaddafi actually be Gene Simmons of Kiss?

Also, more on Hannibal:

Where is this guy's facebook page?  Also, he somehow managed to achieve the enviable and Euro-dubious position of "first consultant to the Management Committee of the General National Maritime Transport Company of Libya" after completing a "chief officer and Master Mariner qualification from the Arab Maritime Academy for Science, Technology and Maritime Transport in Alexandria" according to Wikipedia.

I was gonna do that but I didn't get in.

Also, the Beyonce thing has to be mentioned:

http://www.mofopolitics.com/2010/01/05/video-beyonce-new-years-eve-with-hannibal-gaddafi/

As an aside...

As an aside, the Middle East is not well known for their musicality.  For good reason.  To quote the New York Times:


Mr. Moussa, 74, a former foreign minister and then longtime secretary general of the Arab League, is considered the front-runner in the presidential race. He has long been popular for his confrontational remarks about Israel and the United States — Mr. Mubarak removed him as foreign minister after a song called “I Hate Israel and I Love Amr Moussa” became a pop hit in 2001.


Perhaps in addition to supporting the Libyan people on GaddafiChivalry.com, we ought to think of invoking some cultural imperialism and supplying them with better/listen-able revolutionary music.  The normal dancing, with the guns and the snake-charmer music, it's like: wait, I've seen this before, and have been scared.


We must remember that it is important to speak with infinite relativity while acting with cultural superiority.  That's what an Ivy degree means.

New Conspiracy Theory

The closers one gets to Babylon, the easier it becomes to sell a conspiracy.


Here are the pieces.  Fit them together Mr Assange.

"I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo... and somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things.  It won't be long now before they tear us to shreds."

So... Hannibal

This would be our favorite son, Hannibal.

To most, the obvious conflation with our favorite cannibal-Lecter is easy pickin's.

Let me demonstrate:

But, if you know your history, you see this story is much much funnier.  See, he named his son Hannibal after the Carthaginian general (who was born in Spain, so whatever) that was sworn to Rome's destruction as a child and who nearly took it down.

Tie this in with Gaddafi's obsession with Switzerland and Italy.

Behold, your pornstar-Generalissimo.  I wonder if Bree Olson slept with him too?

The real tragedy

Clearly the real tragedy in this whole thing is the unwinding of Bree Olson's career, everyone's favorite Jewish (sorta) pornstar.  Everyone likes a porn star, no one wants a crack whore.  This is a sad day for America.

Perhaps something should be done.  What if Bree was in charge of the occasional confusing interview with Saif, instead of that condescending British Al Jazeera chick.  

To be honest, I have no idea how that Al Jazeera girl got through that interview. I expected her to be slapped to the ground at any minute as you hear, "Don't you know this is Libya, bitch?  Like, as in Isratine."

I guess some videos are in order

So we have the Israeli Euro-techno video.  Apparently it's crushing it out there.  No accounting for taste.

Not to be outdone, Charlie's got Cyprus Hill to back him on the fire-breathing fists front.

The Trend is Catching On

Mainstream media is beginning to see the obvious link.  We need to get our own quiz going.

Gaddafi, Winning!

SNL

Also, inch by inch, Charlie is taking back the initiative.

Ever wonder what a 7g rock will do to you?  Your face melts off and your children weep over your exploded body, duh.  Dyin's for fools.

Can Gaddafi Talk to Squirrels?

Can Gaddafi speak to squirrels?  Is that why he lives outside?  Does he stitch his own hats?  I leave it to a discerning public.

I'm In A Tent!!!

In beginning our analysis, it is important to understand that the Kentucky Colonel likes living in a tent.

This is the guy who, altogether prior to rambling at the UN, decides he needs to fly to New York, rent Donald Trump's lawn, and pitch a Bedouin tent.  Wait a sec.  Is this entire website making the wrong comparison?!